5 Misunderstandings That Keep You from Living an Intentional, Joy-filled Life What keeps you from being truly happy? These five misunderstandings may get in your way. Misunderstanding #1: Guilt is a consistent and strong motivator. Guilt is a key inhibitor to making positive changes. The message that feeling guilty is an appropriate, if not acceptable, reason for not following through on great self-care is wreaking havoc on our bodies, minds, and souls. Because you feel guilty does not indicate you care more about something or someone. It's likely the word guilt is not the true meaning of what you're feeling. Write down what guilt means to you. Now, ask yourself, is guilty the right word for what you're feeling? Or do you feel responsible? I feel responsible for not getting there on time. Is that an appropriate question if you arrive thirty minutes late? Sure. What could you have done differently? Not shoved in one more errand that threw you off schedule? The next time the better choice (if not being late is a value for you) would be to leave more time between commitments. That’s a choice you can control. On the other hand, if a traffic accident occurs, you can't control that, so you needn't feel guilty. (Letting go of guilt is tough because feeling guilty is also a habit that you need to replace with a healthier, more appropriate emotional response.) Misunderstanding #2: Most people aren't trying hard enough. Many people are doing the best they can with the level of self-awareness they currently have. People want to do their best, but false beliefs, lack of energy, lack of clarity and/or support hold them back. However, a lack of self-care causes people to tolerate the things that drain their energy and diminish their self worth. What do you tolerate that drains you? After you create your list, decide which things you're willing to eliminate. When will you take your first step toward resolution in these areas? Be specific about assigning a date and time to taking your first step. Misunderstanding #3: True success is immediate. Discipline and sacrifice carry a lot of baggage in our culture. Recommitment to intentional living needs to take place every day, sometimes hour to hour. Our "delayed gratification muscle" is atrophied; for some people it's torn. How disciplined are you? Turn up your awareness on your own need for immediate gratification. When you choose intentionally, using wisdom and insight as your guides, you minimize the chances of developing one of the most difficult feelings to live with--regret. Often, the only way I can make a final decision on something (because both or all choices are good) is to choose the action or words that leave the smallest window of regret possible. Misunderstanding #4: Wealth provides financial health and wellbeing--contentment and peace of mind. Despite the fact we are wealthier as a nation than at any other point in history, we still have a great deal of anxiety and stress. Things have inadvertently become more important than health and relationships. Anti-depressants have become the second most common prescribed drug. Divorce rates run too high, with finances driving much of the discord in marriages. While you cannot control aspects of the economy, worldviews, and circumstances, you can control your attitudes and perspectives as they relate to finances and wealth. The place to start is by looking at your wants versus needs. Misunderstanding #5: Contentment is a passé goal. Many people associate the concept of contentment with stagnancy, mediocrity, or settling for less because contentment implies they're satisfied. Done. Complete. I suggest that being content is a wonderful state of being to pursue. Being content says you are grateful for what you have, you are calm and grounded in the now. You may want for more in different areas of your life; however, you recognize that when the time is right (and if it is right), you will have more, do more, and share more. To be content is to be at peace with life as it is now, yet always reaching to become stronger and healthier in body, mind, and spirit. excerpt from Progress Not Perfection: Your Journey Matters by Kate Larsen (Expert Publishing Inc.: 2007 ) Quote for the month: I had a wonderful quote in mind to share this month and changed it--today. One of my clients said something profound that I believe could inspire you. After discussing a number of wonderful transitions and changes in her life during the past six months, she said, "To the day I can tell you when things started to change. When I decided to focus on what I want instead of what I don’t want, it all began to change!" My question for you today is: What are you focusing on? The negative or positive? You choose your focus. Watch for the power of this truth come to life as you shift your focus to what you truly want to experience in your life. Resource of the month: While working on a particularly challenging project recently, I decided I needed some soothing music that would get my creative juices flowing, yet calm my busy brain. I put in the CD called Family Artistry Vol. 1 by Blue Leaf Photography and Basic Elements Productions. It’s called a photo/music video. As the music played, beautiful scenes and images rolled across my computer. I was writing longhand, so my computer sat next to me playing this amazing music. I now consider it a tool for creativity, peace of mind and inspiration. To order your own copy go to: http://www.blueleafphotography.com  or http://www.basicelementsproductions.com  and request your copy today. Kate in the Media: On June 2nd, I had the opportunity to serve as the guest expert for "Get a Whole Life" radio broadcast in Minneapolis on 107.1 FM. The show was called The Power of the Pause. The following is a description of what we did on that program. What a privilege it was to work with Ann. "This show is all about making the most of real-life challenges and opportunities. So today we talk with Ann W., a busy working mom in the midst of an important life pause. Taking a sabbatical from a demanding job in order to recuperate her sense of center and clarify her sense of direction, Ann is looking for some guidance on how to make the best use of the summer ahead of her, and how to develop a plan for what comes next. To that end, we invite accomplished life coach and author, Kate Larsen, to facilitate Ann’s exploration and help her come up with a strategy that makes her feel more grounded about where’s she’s at — and more confident about where she’s headed (even if that means not having all the answers right now). In the process, we learn something about the process of discovering our core priorities in the face of doubt and distraction, about the value of stopping before we start, and about setting limits and boundaries around the things that matter most. Kate Larsen is a certified coach, and the author of Progress Not Perfection: Your Journey Matters. She’s also a regular contributor to "Get a Whole Life" and "Experience Life magazine." Have you ordered your copy of Progress Not Perfection yet? If you enjoy the messages conveyed each month in this ezine, you’ll love the book. Go to http://www.katelarsen.com/products.html to order a copy for yourself and a friend. If you want me to sign it to you or someone else, put a note in your order and I’ll be happy to take care of it. Kate Larsen, PCC http://www.katelarsen.com http://www.wellcoaches.com/kate.larsen Phone: 952-943-1430 Author of Progress Not Perfection: Your Journey Matters Executive coach for The Ken Blanchard Companies Faculty, advisor, mentor and executive coach for Wellcoaches Corp.