3 Self-Sabotaging Thoughts and How to Turn Them Around Did you know that we say things to ourselves in our busyness that can actually sabotage our best intentions? The following three self-talk statements can cause us to overeat, drink, spend, and neglect our health, family, friends, and finances. Read and reflect upon whether you are an unaware victim of these self-sabotaging beliefs. Self-Sabotaging Thought #1: "I can get to where I want in life without a road map." Whenever I drive somewhere for the first time, I make sure I get directions and preferably a map. I use www.MapQuest.com to print out directions. This web site is a simple, yet powerful tool in my toolbox for sane living. Wouldn't it be great if you could pull up your life map at www.LifeQuest.com? Whether you're finding a physical location or striving to reach a new place in life, using a road map that is based upon your starting point and leads directly to your destination is a smarter, more efficient and practical way to go. Yet, the tendency is to look to someone else who's “arrived” and follow his path to success. However, it is unlikely his exact approach to life and decisions will work well for you. Creating your own road map is the more efficient and effective way to design a plan that will lead to your life success. Your life journey matters, which is why it is so important to follow a map that incorporates all aspects of your personality, experiences, values, and needs. When is the last time you have honestly considered whose map or directions you are following? Is it time to schedule some quiet time? If yes, when will you do it? Self-Sabotaging Thought #2: “What I'm doing isn't really hurting me. I could be worse." Do you say: "Yeah, I should have something more nutritious than a pot of coffee for breakfast." "I know I should park farther away and walk, but I'm in a hurry." "I'll see a doctor when I need one; check-ups are a chunk of time I can't afford right now." Whew! How many things are you putting off right now because you're telling yourself, "It really isn't hurting me"? Deep down, you know better. With the accumulation of time and unhealthy choices, yes, you are hurting yourself. The good news is that you can make many little changes that will make a big difference in your health and in your life. At times, you may serve a higher purpose by ignoring your personal needs to care for others. However, when putting off self-care becomes a habit, you drain or diminish the very energy you need to serve others. Giving yourself permission to take care of yourself is not an indulgence; it's a necessity. Decide on one small choice that you will make this week that would benefit your health physically, relationally or spiritually. Once you’ve decided what it ought to be, act on your choice. Self-Sabotaging Thought #3: "My family and friends know how important they are to me." Although you may think that family and friends will understand your busyness and forgive your neglect, they may not understand. Without your investment in them today, they may not be there when you need/want them in the future. Think of three priceless, special people in your life. First, think of each one individually. When is the last time you gave each one your undivided attention? When is the last time you cut them short because of your busy schedule? Now think of them as a group. Do they know their value to you? Actions speak louder than words. What do your actions say about your commitment to these important relationships? By the way, physical proximity is not the answer. You may spend a great deal of time with those you love, yet not be present. "Being" is tough for the "doer." If you're a doer, you don't feel productive unless you're checking things off a list. Yet, our closest relationships grow most in those quiet, unproductive moments of being together. One small choice that can make a big difference is to arrange two-hour and one-hour dates. If you can manage a two-hour date twice a month with your spouse and a one-hour lunch or dinner with a close friend, also once a month, you will find that both relationships are amazingly recharged. Who will you set up a date with this week? What could be the best result if you do? Well…what’s holding you up, make the call! (By the way, I’d love to hear how it goes.) excerpt from Progress Not Perfection: Your Journey Matters by Kate Larsen (Expert Publishing Inc.: 2007 ) Resources: I’ve got a great book for encouragement to read, it’s called Half Full: Meditations on Hope, Optimism, and the Things That Matter by Mina Parker. Kate in the Media: Kate was quoted in the August edition of Woman’s Day magazine in the article 60 Second Health Boosters. Kate was also interviewed in depth for Career Know How answering the questions on what coaches do and how to select the right one for yourself. http://www.careerknowhow.com/ask_sue/coaching2.htm http://www.collegerecruiter.com/career-counselors/archives/2007/07/personal_coaching_part_1.php What would you like to read about? Let Kate know your needs and interests. If your idea is selected for a future article, you will receive a FREE copy of Kate’s book Progress Not Perfection: Your Journey Matters. Send your ideas to: kate@katelarsen.com Thought for the month: Live with intention Walk to the edge And listen hard. Laugh, practice wellness Play with abandon, Continue to learn Appreciate your friends. Choose with no regret, do what you love, And live as if this is all there is. Maryanne MBL Radmacher What could you do this month to make this thought come to life for you? Have you ordered your copy of Progress Not Perfection yet? If you enjoy the messages conveyed each month in this ezine, you’ll love the book. Go to http://www.katelarsen.com/products.html to order a copy for yourself and a friend. If you want me to sign it to you or someone else, put a note in your order and I’ll be happy to take care of it. Kate Larsen, PCC http://www.katelarsen.com http://www.wellcoaches.com/kate.larsen Phone: 952-943-1430 Author of Progress Not Perfection: Your Journey Matters Executive coach for The Ken Blanchard Companies Faculty, advisor, mentor and executive coach for Wellcoaches Corp.