Transform your life, one choice at a time
Transform your team, one person at a timeThe BEST Motto for Achieving Your Goals This Year;
Think Before You Leap
The new year is off to a quick start. The newspapers, magazines, radio and TV are filled with information on diets and weight loss programs, fitness memberships, gadgets and gizmos to get into shape. The messages emphasize losing weight and exercising to look better and feel better. The message that 'first we lose and then we feel and look better is misleading.' We need to exercise and eat smart first to feel better, with the bonus of looking better along the way.
For decades, our culture has focused on looking better instead of "living better." The message is that if you lose weight, you'll look better. If you look better, you'll feel better. If you feel better, you'll be more productive, effective and energetic. You'll have more patience, creativity and handle conflict better.
In theory, this is terrific. The problem is, it doesn't work. Looking better does not guarantee feeling better or thinking better. What does work is to "think better"-even before you've begun to feel better
Thinking better results in choosing better. If you make better choices, you'll naturally lose weight, exercise more often and consistently which generally translates into "being" more pleasant, effective, authentic person. Did I mention healthier, too?
The fact that Americans spend more than $33 billion a year on diets, supplements and weight loss programs suggest that we care about our health. We want to be thinner and healthier. Given the increasing statistics and realities of illness, disease and disability due to lifestyle choices, we must concede that most programs are not working. So, what's the answer? Give up on programs? Stop trying to change?
Absolutely not! You can make healthier habits a part of your life. Programs can and do help. The trick is to start at the beginning. The problem is that most of these programs start at the wrong place. Most encourage buyers to jump into action without the appropriate reflection, assessment and strategic adjustments.
Our solution to resolving problems or challenges (which most often determine our goals) is to get into action to fix the problem-quickly. A client was recently describing always being called "dumb" because she needs "to think through everything so slowly." (Therefore, she's not quick to action. Being surrounded by action-oriented people, she has felt less "successful.") She said, "Someone will describe a situation or problem to me-they want immediate suggestions and action. I'll have to think about it for about an hour and all of a sudden, I get it. Her tone of voice told me she felt like she was failing her people. I asked, "When you come back with your thoughts and ideas, do you tend to make fewer mistakes than others? Do you find that you see the overall implications of a situation better, too?" She said in a lighter, relieved voice, "Actually, yes! That's why they want me managing wherever I work."
Our tendency to act quickly and think later sets the stage for the "Ready, fire, aim" syndrome we see. The "action response" has been a part of the behavior change science field for many years. When you set goals and want to develop new habits, you are striving for behavioral change. It would then seem natural to attempt behavior change as a first step. The fact that lifestyle changes hit the top two on so many people's New Year's list is because what seems natural (getting into action) is not the first step to change. Before we experience a behavioral change, we need an attitude and/or perspective change.
Right now, the focus in the media, news and TV is on health goals and issues. So, we'll apply these ideas of change to the model of health, however, they work the same in goal setting for work issues, relationship building, making a move-anything that requires a change to achieve a goal.
Whenever I begin coaching someone (http://katelarsen.com/oneonone.html), I start with the question; "Why now? What's different about you or your circumstances that indicates that it's genuinely time to change. I'm going to guess, you've had this goal or desire before." If that person doesn't have a specific response, we look to see if there is a good answer. Without it, successful change is almost impossible.
I mentioned that in the behavior change field, "action" has been the emphasis. Behavior modification programs have emphasized behavior change when most participants aren't ready for change, so dropout rates run high, and lasting changes are low. For instance, smoking cessation. Slap on a patch and be done with it. Chew gum. Exercise. Avoid places with a lot of smoke. If the goal is to lose weight; weigh yourself, buy pre-packaged meals, order first before friends in restaurants, use a smaller plate, eat smaller portions. ALL of which ARE good ideas but not the place to start. The model I use for changing lifestyle habits is called the THINK, CHOOSE, WIN model (http://katelarsen.com/speaking.html), based upon the work of individuals like James Prochaska, Ph.D. (see resource section at end of article) and others in the behavior modification field who use a stage theory approach to change and goal setting. You've probably heard that grieving has stages to it. Well, so does change. Action is a part of the change process, however, action is not the first step to change. Without starting at the beginning of the process, you set yourself up to fail.
When you understand the Six Stages of Change, you will find yourself effectively coaching yourself to better thinking and therefore, smarter planning and action. The six stages are; precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance and termination. You can have goals set in every area of your life and be at a different stage for each of them. Read through the information below and determine where you are in the stage of change for each of your health/life goals. It is not until you determine what stage you are in that you can set up a wise, effective, strategy to get to the next step. It's also good to be familiar with these stages because they will reveal the hearts and minds of others around you that may frustrate you when they do not achieve their goals. They simply may not be at the same stage.
The Six Stages of Change* (for a more detailed description of each stage with check boxes to assess your own stage of change click here. PDF)
Stage 1. Precontemplation (Clueless)
Precontemplators have no current intention to change. They may have tried to change a particular behavior in the past and given up, or they may deny the reality of the problem. They may be demoralized, having dismissed the possibility of ever changing. We all have people in our lives like this. If you're in it…you probably don't even know it.
Stage 2. Contemplation (Beginning to see the light)
Contemplators acknowledge they have a problem and are willing to think about their need to change. While they are open to information and feedback, they may remain in this stage for years, realizing they have a problem but unable to generate the energy to change. This may be the most emotionally and physically draining stage because the needed change weighs on the person (physically and/or emotionally). This is the reflection stage, the thinking stage, the no-action stage. Therefore, for the "take charge," Type A individuals, this stage is often skipped or skimmed through. The reality is, this is the stage that prepares the way for the head and heart to connect on making lasting change that will be difficult to stay with when the obstacles come. Remember, It's better thinking that leads to better choices in life. Just as we have behavioral habits, we also have thinking habits. These need to change before the behavior will change.
Stage 3. Preparation (Starting to flex the courage muscle)
People in this stage are on the verge of action. They are generally developing action plans and may even have made small changes. This is the stage where asking others how they "do it" and finding creative ways to adapt ideas happens. Personal life/workstyle preferences and season of life comes in to play. Caution: it's easy to get caught in the "getting ready to get ready" stage. Something or someone usually tips the scale in this stage. Oftentimes, it's a physical crisis, a broken relationship, lost job or a beginning step in overcoming perfectionism.
Stage 4. Action (Using the muscles)
People in this stage are following the action plan they have developed. The better developed this plan is and the more attention they have given to the work of the contemplation and preparation stages, the more successful they will be. This is the stage where all those small steps, small choices, mini sacrifices make all the difference. The combined impact of a positive attitude and small choices that fuel action and good choices sustain the change.
Stage 5 Maintenance (Keep moving)
Maintainers have been continuously engaged in their change process for at least six months. While "just doing it" feels more natural in this stage, overconfidence and life stresses can lead to relapse. Maintainers can also experience a major change in one area of life (a job and/or location change) which then impacts other areas of life (getting away from a consistent exercise program) that requires going back and beginning again in an earlier stage of change. The good news is: since a successful habit has formed once before, usually less time is spent in the earlier stages, and positive living and healthier choices come more naturally.
Stage 6. Termination (Running on automatic)
In this stage, the new behavior has become an integral part of daily life, so much so that the likelihood of relapse is essentially nonexistent. Some professionals question whether people ever reach this stage, although Prochaska and colleagues say it is possible for a small percentage of individuals. Personally, I think the only time anyone really reaches Stage 6, and stays there, is when they really have terminated…permanently. Which makes all the rest a moot point!
As you set goals for the year and plan whether to get healthier, grow your business, have more fun time with family or friends, begin a new career or simply clean out your closets, don't forget to stop, evaluate and start at the Stage of Change you're genuinely at during this point of your life. In the next issue of this ezine, I'll share specific questions, strategies and ideas you'll want to incorporate into the contemplative and preparation stages of change.
Thinking before leaping enables you to jump into action in a sustainable, practical way that will allow you to experience more success and less stress this year. By looking at change through the stages described, you'll discover that being successful at making lasting change will become a natural habit that will open the door to new and more exciting habits year after year.
Action Ideas: (Which should really be called "Thinking Ideas" - however, I like the idea of action too)
- Write down the goals you have for this year on a piece of paper. For simplicity's sake, choose six.
- Take a look at those goals again and ask yourself, which areas of my life does this goal impact the most? (physical, emotional, interpersonal/relational, intellectual, occupational, spiritual, financial, fun-tional (okay, so I mean fun, spontaneous, joy/laughter-filled).
- Ask yourself, how would achieving this goal improve my life or enhance who I am?
- What "other" ideas popped up?
- Tell a trusted friend what you've chosen to work on. Don't "do" anything about it…go to Stages 2 and 3 and focus on the questions of how you want to change, what will it take to change, who will help you change and consider what you'll be losing or giving up if you do change.
Attitudes to Consider:
- I choose to change.
- I "get to" change or improve.
- I can do it: one step, one bite, one moment, one laugh, one conversation at a time.
*Adapted from Changing for Good by James Prochaska, John Norcross and Carlo DiClemente. New York, NY: William Morrow and Co. 1994
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/038072572X/qid=1042737074/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-0658123-8305452?v=glance&s=books#product-details
For a view of a great new Food Pyramid that more accurately designates best food choices, both in quality and quantity, go to: the January Issue of Scientific American pg. 67 or
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?colID=1&articleID=0007C5B6-7152-1DF6-9733809EC588EEDF
The Center for Science in the Public Interest (which has a great monthly publication called Nutrition Action) has created two new Web sites that encourage healthier lifestyles. The first, www.cspinet.org/nutritionpolicy, provides links to government resources that promote eating a nutritious diet and staying physically active, including policies, legislation, fact sheets and up-to-date statistics on the impact of poor diet and inactivity on health and health care costs.
The second Web site is, www.smartmouth.org, is geared more toward kids; to help them eat more wisely, it uses games to teach them how food advertising, portion sizes and school vending choices influence their food choices.
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