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Permission to Pause; The Secret to Renewal and Increased Joy
"Even the best pit crew in the world can't fix a race car when it's going 200 miles an hour."
- Richard Swenson, M.D.When I'm driving and get lost or think I'm lost, I immediately turn off the radio. When the kids were younger, they would recognize "mom's lost look" and immediately grow silent. Even at 1, 4 and 6 ½ years old. They knew and they went still. When I'm lost, confused or overwhelmed, I stop and get very quiet. I notice the same idea of stopping helps with coaching clients that call talking 90 miles an hour without a breath. I often say, "Stop. Take a deep breath. Give yourself a minute." It is amazing what a moment of silence and a deep breath can do to ground someone and calm their spirit.
Most people need a small voice whispering in their ear throughout the day; "pause, take a deep breath, regroup." Doctors say our bodies have two modes of operation - a productivity mode and a conservation mode. I would like to add a third mode to this theory; the preservation mode. It is in the preservation mode that we have the greatest direct impact on our health, energy and vitality. Let me share some thoughts on the conservation and productivity modes before I suggest how to operate intentionally in the preservation mode.
When stress occurs in the form of illness, surgery or accidents, giving birth, getting divorced, experiencing the death of a loved one, financial downturns, career upsets or the challenges of aging parents and troubled teens; "The body enters into the conservation mode under conditions that threaten the survival and/or physical, mental, emotional resources of the body." (my italics)
When the stressful conditions have passed, the body is supposed to return to the productivity mode. However, I would submit that without a wise and nurtured preservation mode, our bodies (and spirits) struggle to shift back from conservation mode to productivity mode. As a matter of fact, Wilson's Syndrome is a disorder that that leaves people to suffer with frustrating and often debilitating complaints long after stress has passed because their bodies stay in the conservation mode. (The long list of symptoms are frightening, email me if you want more information on this subject.)
The majority of health challenges we face today are caused by the way in which we cope with stress. Small choices day in and day out significantly impact our body's ability to rebound and function in high order. Food choices, exercise time, sleep habits, relationship and relaxation time are all part of the preservation mode. This issue of Maximum Performance addresses one area in particular. Relaxation. Giving yourself permission to pause, to relax, rejuvenate and recharge whether for 30 seconds or 3 hours.
There is a difference between rest and relaxation. Rest is sleep. Relaxation is the space we create in our heads and for our bodies that allow us to appreciate and enjoy life. There is a distinction between active and passive relaxation. Both are important ingredients for a healthy, balanced, productive life. Passive rest includes meditation; there is no "doing" in this place. It's about "being."
Passive Relaxation
Studies suggest that regular meditation may increase energy, heighten the body's immune response, improve learning, provide a buffer against stress, reduce high blood pressure, promote deeper sleep, reduce anxiety and nervousness, heighten self-esteem, boost creativity and even slow the aging process. Need any more reasons to slow down and be still?
Meditation for me, involves more than deep breathing and sitting still. It includes quiet thoughts of positive affirmations. While I understand the importance of letting random thoughts float in and allow them to float out, I allow for silence and allow myself positive thoughts by way of memorized verses, quotes or comments that lift and reassure my spirit. Having "nothing" happen in my brain doesn't rejuvenate me. However, positive, affirming thoughts, along with silence do. They also give me perspective.
William Penn, the founder of Pennsylvania, said it best, "True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment."
Active Relaxation
For more active relaxation, I love liming. Yes, "liming." Liming is the Caribbean art of "doing nothing, guilt-free." And it's a revitalizing habit almost unheard of in America. Liming is, as by Bloomfield and Cooper in the Power of 5, "a kind of moving meditation to break away from the stress of time, of clock watching." Liming involves taking a healthy pleasure such as daydreaming about your favorite vacation spot, turning on your radio and humming or singing favorite music, it's unplugging your office phone and writing a few cards to friends or flipping through the latest Sharper Image or Pottery Barn catalog. Liming is putting on your sunglasses, getting a glass of lemonade and throwing your feet up on the porch for 15 minutes of break time. It may include stopping for a latte and watching crowds walk by in a mall. The point of liming is to give yourself permission to do whatever you love to do that doesn't take a lot of time or orchestrating to do. It's a brain break. It is powerful in its simplicity.
Surprisingly, this kind of daytime mental rest is also vital to your memory power since it gives the brain a much-needed opportunity to sort out the load of information that has reached your mind during the course of your day.
Taking liming breaks offers you the opportunity to be struck by inspirational insights and also safeguards your health. Sometimes, liming can help to shortstop the adrenaline surges created by a "get up and go" (and keep going) style.
These breathing breaks give you creative space that help refresh your creative spirit and refuel your mind. An unrelenting pace increases errors and diminishes focus.
Here's another reason to take brain breaks during the day. Your family doesn't deserve the 'leftovers' of you at the end of the day. For those that think you don't need these intentional breaks over the course of the day, think again. When you push and push to check off those to-dos, your fatigue mounts. During the day, adrenaline and stress hormones, like beta-endorphins, give you a transient sense of feeling good even as you are wearing down. Signal hormones that coordinate memory, perception and performance may all but be gone by the time you get home. There's little left, despite your good intentions. Irritability and impatience are a natural result. If being more "present" is important to you and your family, liming breaks are critical.
Pay Attention to the Rhythm of Your Body
Meditation is a form of a passive relaxation, liming is active yet relaxing. Finally, your natural body rhythms play a part in when you need relaxation; whether passive or active.
Do you power nap? There are some days when I can't keep my eyes open late in the afternoon. I am just compelled to close them - as if someone has suddenly drugged me. I lay down for twenty minutes a miracle occurs! My eyes snap open, like those of that baby on the Pampers commercial, and I'm ready and recharged for another 6 or 7 hours. Is it in my imagination? Is it yours? No. I've learned about the power and importance of circadian rhythms. Just as brain breaks and mediation recharge and reengage me, power naps refuel me.
Circadian rhythms are natural, ongoing biological influences on our body that flow in two cycles; 24 hour increments and 60-90 minute ultradian increments. Consider these your daily energy cycles. Like the rhythms of the tide that shift with the moon, your energy shifts throughout the course of the day. Have you ever been totally exhausted wanting to go to bed, yet wanting to finish up "just one more chapter, one more load of wash, lunches that won't take long to make and a last minute note to make on a report for the morning," only to discover when you climb into bed, you can't fall asleep! What happened? You missed your opportunity on your ultradian clock. It will now take approximately an hour to unwind again to that place of sleepiness that allows you to fall deep asleep. The point is to pay attention to your body's need for a break, whether for seconds or minutes.
You have all the power in the preservation mode of body function. You determine how to eat, when to exercise, sleep or relax. Being intentional about honoring your body and listening to its cues will help you be more productive, while being healthier today and in the future.
If you're struggling to stay sharp or focus at work or at home take a break…do some 'liming.' Take some quiet moments to mediate and get grounded. Heck, don't listen to me, listen to Leonardo da Vinci, "Every now and then go away, even briefly, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer; since to remain constantly at work will cause you to lose power…"
It's time for a liming break!
Small Choices that will make a big difference;
- Find some poems, scripture verses, quotes or affirmations that you would like to have on hand for those quiet meditative moments.
- List 12 ways to take a brain break; keep the list and refer to it for ideas for a 5 minute to half hour break. (What tapes, CD's, magazines, phone numbers, cards, sunglasses or walking shoes do you need to have readily available?)
- Make notes in your day timer or computer as you notice your energy shifts for the next week. When do you notice the most energy? The least? Notice what happens when you drink more water, get some exercise, ignore your fatigue…what do you learn?
- Intentionally give yourself permission to relax because it IS productive and profitable to do so.
Reading Recommendations:
Healthy Pleasures by David Sobel, M.D., and Robert Ornstein, PhD.
The Power of 5 by Harold Bloomfield, M.D., and Robert Cooper, Ph.D.
Time Shifting by Stephan Rechtschaffen, M.D.============PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE=================
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Kate Larsen is a full-time professional speaker and certified coach, who gives keynotes, half, and full day programs across the country and around the world. She has the ability and experience to make the material "come to life" in individualized follow-up coaching sessions when requested. Her high energy, high content, fun, yet informative programs help:
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